September 28, 2013
Random Thoughts of a Mother
Family, Lost or Missing, missing person, Searching
I know it has been few months since I posted the new missing people of BC on this blog but I am stunned at how many missing people there are to catch up on. To the point of ridiculousness!! Not sure if that is a real word but it sure sums it up! I have been posting the missing people on the Facebook page Missing People of BC daily for the past few years and someday there can be two or more people who go missing just in BC alone. I follow Missing People of Canada and it is amazing how many people from all walks of life that are missing across Canada! Thousands of people and each one of those people have someone who is desperate for answers to their disappearance. Thankfully most missing people are found safe within the first week of being reported missing.
Some people still think you have to wait 24 or 48 hours before you can report a missing adult. This is not true! Report a missing loved one as soon as you realize they are missing. Once you have reported them missing to the RCMP or your local police get the file number and contact the many missing persons sites that are on Social Media such a Facebook. This is a great way to get the public to be aware of your missing loved one. The more you get the news about your missing loved one in the pubic view the better chance you have of locating them. The first few days are the most important and details about where and how they went missing need to be known. I can’t stress enough how important it is to keep notes as soon as you realize your loved one is missing. If the hours turn into days you start to become very scattered and can forget little details that could be very important.
I am glad to see that they are focusing on some of the older cases of Missing Persons…trust me it’s not old for the family with a Missing Loved One. A person has no idea what a nightmare it is to have someone you care about go missing….until it happens.
March 3, 2013
On Going Stories of Missing People in BC, Random Thoughts of a Mother
Family, Found Missing Person, Lost or Missing, missing person
Since I started this blog there have been hundreds of people who have gone missing in BC, and thousands more all over Canada. Thankfully most missing people are found within a few days – safe and sound. The family and friends of the found missing person having known the heartache of a missing loved one for just a short while. I have been toying around with the idea of completely removing a person from my missing blog once they have been found but also know that often people will still be listed as Missing long after they have been located. I currently have a section in my blog that lists the found missing person.
Once a person who has been missing is found safe and continues on with their life the last thing they want is to be listed as missing. This past week I was contacted by a person who had been missing and was found and who would like to carry on with their life.This is their email and I am very Thankful for this information.
“I was listed on your website as missing and later you updated that I had been located safe only days later. Yours was the only site to make this update, thank you so much for that. Now, months later I am still getting and hearing about phone calls from frightened family and friends who are coming across the various media and missing persons sites thinking I might be in danger. For this reason I would like to ask, along with my sincere thanks for your service, that the posting regarding myself, be removed from your site to allow everyone to move forward. I have been successful with a handful of sites so far, and left yours to last purposely because it contained the update. Now, Global BC has made an update and I am trying to have the last bits taken down. I sent a message to “unsolved.ca” and their response was to update the story and leave for a day for their sites followers to see and then removed the posting. Since your site has had the update for months I hope that you could just remove it right away and let it be done. I also have to consider that any time my name is googled, this is what people (family, friends, potential employers, anyone..) are going to see.”
I will be updating each found missing person case by removing them from this site. Sadly there are many people who are not found safe and many that have been missing for years. I would like to focus on the missing people. I believe the average person has no idea how many people go missing, from all walks of life…
I currently have a Missing People of BC Facebook and try to remove the posting of the missing person as soon as I hear about it and will do the same with this website. For the many families and friends who have had a Missing Loved One Found, I am always very happy to hear someone who is missing is found and safe!
Please if you know one who has been found email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
The RCMP have started a National Website for the Missing People of Canada. There are currently only a small percentage of the thousands of Missing Canadians posted on the RCMP web site but it is a start.
January 31, 2013
On Going Stories of Missing People in BC, Random Thoughts of a Mother
Canada, Lost or Missing, missing person, RCMP
I was so glad to see the announcement the RCMP have started a Website for the Missing People of Canada and Unidentified Remains. There are thousands of Missing People in Canada and over 7000 unidentified remains. I checked right away if I could find our son Michael Bosma who has been missing since January 10, 2006 on the site but he is not listed. This is obviously a work in progress but it is a great step in the right direction however we still desperately need to have a Missing Persons DNA Data Bank for the Many Missing People of Canada. Many people are surprised there is NO DNA Data Bank for the thousands of Canadians that have been missing for years.
When you have a missing loved one the worst part is the unknown. The grieving process is a lot longer because its hard to grieve without feeling guilty…like you are giving up on finding your loved one. Your life is changed forever and even though you do eventually get on with your life your missing loved one is always in the back of your mind. You still have bad days..Anniversarys, birthday and any special occasions there are many tears, both shed and unshed. You learn to cry on the inside and you learn to carry on but if your loved one is found and you can bring them home I think there would somehow be some peace. I don`t know because our son has been missing now for over 7 years. Many people will talk about closure but is there really closure when you have lost a loved one?
It breaks my heart when I see a missing person in the media or posted on Facebook because I know the nightmare the family is living with. Thankfully most missing people are found within the first day they are listed as missing. As time goes on and the days turn into weeks, then months and years its hard to stay positive and you finally have to admit that your loved one may never come home.
Hopefully this new RCMP website for the Missing People of Canada will solve some of the Missing Persons cases and give a family a little peace.
DNA DATA BANK PETITION http://www.gopetition.com/petition/41301/signatures.html
December 14, 2012
Random Thoughts of a Mother
Christmas, Family, Grief Loss and Bereavement, missing person
If you know someone who has a missing loved one, please know that Christmas is one of the hardest times of the year, it’s right up there with the Anniversary Date of the Disappearance. Most Families have some sort of Christmas tradition, whether its decorating the tree, preparing an extravagant dinner, or spending time with family and friends. When your loved one is missing the tradition becomes only a memory mixed with many emotions. The hussel and bussel of Christmas can be overwhelming and sometimes quite annoying so there is a good possibility of some anger. Your life is altered forever and days like Christmas are just a reminder of the gaping hole in your life now. Think of someone you know that has lost a loved one and know the family with a missing loved one are suffering in the same way but the grief is almost toxic for them. There is a certain amount of guilt when you grieve for a missing loved one…almost like you have given up. The future is unknown and as the year comes to an end for the family of the missing attacks of severe grief are not uncommon. It’s a very emotional time so be prepared for lots of emotions. It’s a slow process when you have a loved one that disappears…
If you want to be kind to a family with a missing loved one, let them know that you are thinking of them and their missing loved one. Mention the missing person`s name, if you have a nice memory or a funny story share it with them. Be prepared for tears..I know many people don’t want to make someone cry but you’re not making them cry, the fact that their loved one is missing is what is making them cry.
Recognize that life is emotionally chaotic for the family with a Missing Loved one and they may not be able to attend a planned Christmas event……even if they said they were going to. When you have a missing loved one there are many triggers at Christmas time and sometimes you just want to be left alone. Be prepared for them to change their mind constantly, it is a very scattered life when you have a missing loved one, and more so at Christmas time. Don`t take it personal. They are dealing with their own personal hell of grief and the unknown.
For some people the days leading up to Christmas are harder than the actual day. This will be our sixth Christmas since our son Michael went missing from Kelowna at the age of 25. The first years were excruciating and I feel for all the new families with a missing loved one. There is no way to sugar coat it for you. It is a nightmare day! Since we don`t have any small children we don`t feel we have to decorate or put a tree up. But that is us. Some people will choose to decorate the tree in honor of their missing loved one and I admire that…maybe one year we will do that. Others will go away for the Christmas season, another good idea and perhaps one day we will do that too.
Thinking of the many Family and Friends with a Missing Loved One.
November 17, 2012
Random Thoughts of a Mother, Too Many Missing Mental Health Patients
Family, mental health, missing person
Every day someone new is diagnosed with a mental illness of some sort in Canada. This includes Depression, Bi-polar and Schizophrenia to name a few. Over the years since our son, Michael, disappeared at the age of 25 from Kelowna BC I have noticed a number of people with a Mental Illness have gone missing. Unfortunately when someone goes missing with a Mental Health issue, it may not be reported immediately to the RCMP. Even if they are reported missing often the public doesn’t hear about the disappearance for days. The amazing and scary part is that a number of people with a mental illness go missing from the very facility they are being treated in. When someone with a mental health issue goes missing they can be a danger to them self and occasionally to other people. Although the incidents where someone with a mental illness has caused harm to someone is quickly spread with the media, making the stigma of mental illness glaringly obvious.
Mental Health is the most important health aspect in our lives and yet very little is done to help those with mental illness. If you have mental health problems often physical health issues go hand in hand. This makes sense because if you are not feeling well mentally you certainly are not going to care about yourself physically. This is especially true with someone suffering from depression. Unfortunately depression pretty much accompanies most mental illnesses. When you are suffering from depression it is like trying to get through the day with 50 pound weights on your arms and legs. As you can imagine this can be exhausting and many people will end up sleeping their day away which only makes the depression worse because you have not enjoyed your day at all. It’s a vicious circle for any one suffering with mental illness.
When someone goes missing suffering from mental illness they are usually depressed. This should raise red flags for everyone but quite often it is not big news until they have been missing a few days. There are many people, including our son, who have gone missing while under the care of Mental Health Canada and are never found. Of course suicide is the conclusion that most people will come to and sadly for many people suffering from depression taking their own life is a common occurrence. The stigma attached to mental health issues has been obvious to us since our son went missing. I have actually had people wave their hands as if waving away an annoying fly when I say our son suffers from schizophrenia, as if it’s a reasonable explanation for our missing son. Just because someone has a mental illness does not mean they are loved and missed any less than someone’s missing healthy loved one!
Mental Health is not something that is discussed in schools as much as it should be, which is a shame because often Mental Illness begins in the teen years. This needs to change so that the youths of our society can get the help they need without feeling ashamed. We need to realize that mental illness is an illness like any other including cancer, diabetes etc. Mental Illness truly is a cancer of Mental Health and needs to be treated as soon as possible like any other illness or disease.
This month there has been a movement to declare BULL SHIT on the way society fails to support Mental Health for our youth. We need to have the support without the stigma for the thousands of young people in our country suffering from any form of Mental Illness. Please take the time to see the attached link. The sooner someone is treated for Mental Illness the better the outcome.
Declaration to Declare Bull Shit http://callbs.ca/#declare-bs
August 19, 2012
On Going Stories of Missing People in BC
body, missing person, North Vancouver, RCMP
RCMP of North Vancouver advise remains have been found in the wooded area near Capilano Road on Saturday evening. The RCMP Integrated Forensic Identification Service and B.C. Coroners Service are investigating. There are hundreds of missing people from the BC area. Each time there is news of a body or human remains found anyone with a missing loved one can only wait with dread until the remains are identified. Thinking of all the families and friends of a missing loved one.
UPDATE Police say the death appears to be suspicious
Read it on Global News: Global BC | Human remains found in North Vancouver
August 12, 2012
Found Missing Persons
DNA, Family, Grief Loss and Bereavement, Manitoba, Missing Man, missing person, RCMP
20 years ago some bones were found in a Manitoba Hay Field. The bones were approximately 15 months old and at that time were identified as a woman so police began searching all the missing women cases. Boxes of files were accumulated over the next 20 years. In 2011 the Cold Case Detectives took another look at the evidence and decided they needed another look at the body. The remains were exhumed from the Ashern Manitoba cemetary and thanks to DNA it was discovered the bones were actually that of a man. 10 months later with the help of DNA the bones were identified as that of 20-year-old Patrick Lawrence Rosner, who was reported missing in Winnipeg in 1989. This was done by comparing the DNA of Patrick to his blood relatives and is the way that a DNA Data Bank of all the Missing People of Canada could be stored. It would mean that the family with a missing loved one would know that if a body was found on the other side of Canada it would be compared to the DNA of their loved one. The family and friends of a missing person need to find out the answers as soon as possible….
The family of Patrick have been wondering and living with the anguish of a missing loved one for over 20 years. Now at least the family knows where Patrick is and hopefully there will be some answers to the many questions that are still weighing heavy on the family and friends of the 20-year-old. Patrick was in love with a girl, had a good job and got along well with his family so everyone that knew Patrick knew he did not leave on his own accord.
Hopefully this will show the importance of a DNA Data Bank for all the missing Canadians. It is the Un-Known that is the hardest for the family and friends of someone who has disappeared.
Thinking of Patrick and his family and friends….RIP Patrick.