Today marks 8 years since our son Michael Bosma went missing from Kelowna BC. Never in my wildest dreams could I have thought up this nightmare we are now living with. Looking back I realize the pain is not any less but somehow as a family we learned to live with this heart ache and hopeless feeling….most days. The anniversary of Mike’s disappearance is a very hard day and Christmas was difficult again this year…still unable to set up a tree. Perhaps next year will be better although I have said this for the past 8 years or maybe we will just never have a tree again.
Sadly many more families are now experiencing our nightmare and living with the un-known. No matter how your loved one has gone missing and what circumstances it is still very painful. As a parent our children are constantly on our mind no matter what age they are and so our sons disappearance is constantly with me where ever I go.
I have discovered I cannot talk to someone new about Mike’s disappearance without shedding a few tears so meeting new people is a bit of a challenge. Inevitably people will ask if you have children and if I mention Mike the tears will flow and if I don’t mention Mike then I feel guilty for not including him….I am pretty sure I come across as an odd person at times.
Because Michael suffered from Mental Illness ( and trust me Mental Illness causes a lot of suffering) the easy explanation is that he took his own life, which in itself is a whole new horror. But there has never been any evidence of that – his body has never been found – and Mike is not the only young, vibrant, healthy man to go missing. Since Michael went missing almost 100 other young men have gone missing in BC alone. Thankfully most of these young men are located but I am constantly amazed at how many people go missing and how little we hear about them. If your lucky your Missing Loved One makes the headlines for a few days. When Mike went missing I wanted to stand on the highest mountain top and scream for all the world to hear My Son is Missing!
Please know if you have a loved one go missing you DO NOT have to wait to report for 24 or 48 hours. Report the disappearance to the RCMP or your local police and get a file number. Contact the media and the many missing persons sites on Social Media and include the file number. It’s a good idea to keep notes on who you have contacted about your missing loved one and if your loved one is found please update the media you have contacted. Get a notebook and write any information you can think of…if your loved one remains missing you quickly become very scattered and the notes will help. Usually when someone is reported missing and it hits the media they are found within a few days…they are the lucky ones. If your loved one is still missing contact the media and update them with any new news. Sadly a missing person quickly becomes old news if there is nothing new to report.
We have learned to resign ourselves to the fact that we may never know what happened to Mike but our memories of him will live on with our family forever.
Last family picture. Mike went missing 10 days later.
jo
Jan 10, 2014 @ 18:25:20
You are all in my heart and thoughts.
Wenswritings
Jan 11, 2014 @ 06:54:22
Thank you
Jennifer Lake Tipper
Jan 10, 2014 @ 18:48:36
Wendy, this is a beautiful heartfelt story and tribute to Mike. My heart goes out to you and your family on this difficult day, and for the hard weeks leading up to this day as well. I understand and relate to so much of what you say. I know it’s surreal for you that this sweet family photo was taken just 10 days before Mike was gone. Mike’s illness doesn’t necessarily define what happened to him, many young men seem to go missing, And even if it did the mystery is still with you. With no evidence of anything there are no easy explanations. The how and why will always be on our minds until we know for sure. I was so saddened to hear about Matthew Huszar, after two years, that’s quite unheard of. Please keep the hope that your answers will come to you about Mike. Much love to you and your family, Wendy. I will light a candle for you all, and for Mike tonight. Jennifer
Wenswritings
Jan 11, 2014 @ 06:57:55
Thank you Jennifer. I know you know the pain well. It is almost like the days leading up to the anniversary are as hard or some days harder than the actual day. It is very sad when a missing person is located deceased and I don’t know that it eases the families pain in any way….just takes away the unknown I guess. I think of your mother and you and your family often and hope you get some answers soon. Maybe 2014 will be the year for answers.
Lori
Jan 11, 2014 @ 02:56:18
God, please help this family get closure. They are suffering so. Please send St. Anthony to help them find their son. Thank you for your mercy.
Wenswritings
Jan 11, 2014 @ 06:58:13
Thank you
Cher Thompson
Jan 11, 2014 @ 13:42:29
As an aunt who has experienced your suffering my heart goes out to you and your family. I can almost remember while reading this the fears, the tears, the hopes, the reaction every time the telephone rang that my family experienced for the two and and a half decades my nephew was missing. I can only pray that your journey isn’t as long as ours was. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Jennifer Lake Tipper
Jan 11, 2014 @ 20:16:51
I completely agree Wendy. I find those leading-up days in some ways harder, each day building up emotionally to come to that actual day we dread. And as each day passes, we can’t help but remember back to those anniversary days too, how our lives were going along, not realizing within a few days our lives would change forever. I don’t really believe finding a missing person deceased eases any pain, it only replaces one kind of pain with another. Thank you for your thoughts and wishes about my Mum. Wishing you and your family comfort and peace at this time.
D.J.
Jan 12, 2014 @ 00:00:17
Wendy and Jennifer,
I can’t even imagine the pain and brokenness that you must be feeling.
I will keep on praying for you until your Loved Ones come home.
Wenswritings
Jan 12, 2014 @ 18:51:22
Thank you.
Ben
Jan 12, 2014 @ 11:25:33
We remember you Mike, Thinking of the family!
Wenswritings
Jan 12, 2014 @ 18:26:40
Thank you Ben. You were a very good friend to Mike and we appreciate it so much.
Arlene Dickson
Jan 14, 2014 @ 10:54:18
Some one needs to start thinking that maybe something is going on here. All these young men go missing. If that was young women, would we not be alerted to something is wrong here. What do the police think.
voice
Jan 14, 2014 @ 12:17:15
you have to look at whole picture rcmp social services alot of people go missing and disregarding as people because there on low income ,look at 1972 in oliver b,c rcm p and vancouver and highway tears ,,,,,,,,,,,my daughter was taking from me with no question ask they wont let low inccome get a lawyer either
iguanilla
Jan 18, 2014 @ 15:37:54
I can not imagine what it might be like to have a son go missing, My thoughts are with you all. Perhaps Inside Out Connections might help alleviate your grief. Link:
https://www.insideoutcanada.ca/
I have tried this myself and it help immensely!
Denise Allan
Feb 24, 2014 @ 11:17:01
Thoughts are constantly with you Wendy, John , Mike and all your family.
Denise
Wenswritings
Feb 24, 2014 @ 18:51:22
Thank you Denise. Think of you and Charles often too. Today CHBC has been broadcasting a news report about Charles. I hope you get some answers soon!
Laurie Andres
Jun 01, 2015 @ 21:31:28
My heart goes out to you Wendy and your family. No one could ever imagine your pain and what you go through every day wondering where your son is. Your strength is amazing and sharing your story I am sure has helped others in the same situation. God bless 🙂