Mike Bosma has been missing for 8 years from Kelowna BC

Today marks 8 years since our son Michael Bosma went missing from Kelowna BC. Never in my wildest dreams could I have thought up this nightmare we are now living with. Looking back I realize the pain is not any less but somehow as a family we learned to live with this heart ache and hopeless feeling….most days. The anniversary of Mike’s disappearance is a very hard day and Christmas was difficult again this year…still unable to set up a tree. Perhaps next year will be better although I have said this for the past 8 years or maybe we will just never have a tree again.

Sadly many more families are now experiencing our nightmare and living with the un-known. No matter how your loved one has gone missing and what circumstances it is still very painful. As a parent our children are constantly on our mind no matter what age they are and so our sons disappearance is constantly with me where ever I go.

I have discovered I cannot talk to someone new about Mike’s disappearance without shedding a few tears so meeting new people is a bit of a challenge. Inevitably people will ask if you have children and if I mention Mike the tears will flow and if I don’t mention Mike then I feel guilty for not including him….I am pretty sure I come across as an odd person at times.

Because Michael suffered from Mental Illness ( and trust me Mental Illness causes a lot of suffering) the easy explanation is that he took his own life, which in itself is a whole new horror. But there has never been any evidence of that – his body has never been found – and Mike is not the only young, vibrant, healthy man to go missing. Since Michael went missing almost 100 other young men have gone missing in BC alone. Thankfully most of these young men are located but I am constantly amazed at how many people go missing and how little we hear about them.  If your lucky your Missing Loved One makes the headlines for a few days. When Mike went missing I wanted to stand on the highest mountain top and scream for all the world to hear My Son is Missing!

Please know if you have a loved one go missing you DO NOT have to wait to report for 24 or 48 hours. Report the disappearance to the RCMP or your local police and get a file number. Contact the media and the many missing persons sites on Social Media and include the file number. It’s a good idea to keep notes on who you have contacted about your missing loved one and if your loved one is found please update the media you have contacted. Get a notebook and write any information you can think of…if your loved one remains missing you quickly become very scattered and the notes will help. Usually when someone is reported missing and it hits the media they are found within a few days…they are the lucky ones. If your loved one is still missing contact the media and update them with any new news. Sadly a missing person quickly becomes old news if there is nothing new to report.

We have learned to resign ourselves to the fact that we may never know what happened to Mike but our memories of him will live on with our family forever.

Last family picture. Mike went missing 10 days later.

$25,000.00 Reward Offered for Information of the Disappearance of Kevin VALENTYNE, 24, Missing from Vancouver BC since January 7, 2013

The family of Kevin Valentyne are offering a reward for information on the disappearance of Kevin from Vancouver on January 7, 2013. Kevin’s family are desperate for some answers. If you know anything about Kevin Valentyne please let the family know. The hardest part about having a loved one go missing is the unknown. It’s hard because life  keeps on moving forward and you are stuck, desperate for some answers. People expect you to be continuing on with your life but everything about your life has changed. Kevin’s family and friends lives have changed forever…. birthdays, anniversaries, any special occasion will always have that missing feeling. I would imagine that even if you lose someone you care about to death you have that missing feeling but when someone you love is actually missing it is hard to completely grieve, because you also want to be hopeful. That is one thing a family with a missing loved has is hope. I hope Kevin’s family and friends get some answers soon.

Okanagan Women Magazine – A Mother’s Story

It has been over seven years since our son Mike went missing from Kelowna BC. It still does not seem real, that this is now the norm for our family like. Life will never be “normal” again, but we are slowly adjusting to our new normal.

Until our son went missing January 10, 2006 I had no idea how many people go missing. Now I have become hyper-alert and notice when anyone goes missing. If there is one thing I have learned since our son went missing is report your loved one Missing ASAP. With the social media growing more and more everyday it is truly amazing how fast and how far a missing person case can spread in very little time. Be that squeaky wheel. Keep reminding  people your loved one is missing. And please know that most missing people are found shortly after they are reported missing. But if your loved one is not found start a face book page. Spread the word – join the many missing persons sight. I have a Missing People of BC page and there is a Missing People of Canada that has close to 50,000 members. I realty admire anyone that maintains a Missing Persons page or website. I have limited myself to BC mostly because it can be overwhelming to try to keep up with the thousands of missing people who go missing from all over the world, and yet until you have a loved one go missing you have no idea of the nightmare that so many families are living with every second of every minute of every day.

A few years after our son Mike went missing from Kelowna BC, I signed up for a Creative Writing course at the Okanagan College in Kelowna. It was something that I really needed at that point in my life and I met some amazing creative people.The writing instructor Dona Sturmanis is a very talented writer and has published many articles and very thought-provoking  poetry. I was just starting to write about the experience of having a son go missing and Dona was very interested in my story, encouraging me to write often. A friendship developed and several years ago she wrote a story for the Okanagan Life Magazine.  Recently Dona was diagnosed with breast cancer and has been fighting the battle that so many women have fought. Even though Dona was having chemo she contacted me and said she wanted to write another article about our missing son Mike. This time for a new magazine,  Okanagan Women. What an amazing woman! Here she is fighting her own nightmare battle and yet she thinks about our family and our nightmare that we are living with. I can never repay Dona for her kindness. Dona is a fighter and I look forward to our continuing friendship.

When a Missing Person is found

Since I started this blog there have been hundreds of people who have gone missing in BC, and thousands more all over Canada. Thankfully most missing people are found within a few days – safe and sound. The family and friends of the found missing person having known the heartache of a missing loved one for just a short while. I have been toying around with the idea of completely removing a person from my missing blog once they have been found but also know that often people will still be listed as Missing long after they have been located. I currently have a section in my blog that lists the found missing person.
Once a person who has been missing is found safe and continues on with their life the last thing they want is to be listed as missing. This past week I was contacted by a person who had been missing and was found and who would like to carry on with their life.This is their email and I am very Thankful for this information.

“I was listed on your website as missing and later you updated that I had been located safe only days later. Yours was the only site to make this update, thank you so much for that. Now, months later I am still getting and hearing about phone calls from frightened family and friends who are coming across the various media and missing persons sites thinking I might be in danger. For this reason I would like to ask, along with my sincere thanks for your service, that the posting regarding myself, be removed from your site to allow everyone to move forward. I have been successful with a handful of sites so far, and left yours to last purposely because it contained the update. Now, Global BC has made an update and I am trying to have the last bits taken down. I sent a message to “unsolved.ca” and their response was to update the story and leave for a day for their sites followers to see and then removed the posting. Since your site has had the update for months I hope that you could just remove it right away and let it be done. I also have to consider that any time my name is googled, this is what people (family, friends, potential employers, anyone..) are going to see.”

I will be updating each found missing person case by removing them from this site. Sadly there are many people who are not found safe and many that have been missing for years. I would like to focus on the missing people. I believe the average person has no idea how many people go missing, from all walks of life…

I currently have a Missing People of BC Facebook and try to remove the posting of the missing person as soon as I hear about it and will do the same with this website. For the many families and friends who have had a Missing Loved One Found, I am always very happy to hear someone who is missing is found and safe!

Please if you know one who has been found email me at wenswritings@hotmail.com

Related articles

The RCMP have started a National Website for the Missing People of Canada. There are currently only a small percentage of the thousands of Missing Canadians posted on the RCMP web site but it is a start.

• RCMP unveils new national website on missing persons cases (canada.com)

RCMP Have a New Website Dedicated to Missing People of Canada and Unidentifed Remains

I was so glad to see the announcement the RCMP have started a Website for the Missing People of Canada and Unidentified Remains. There are thousands  of Missing People in Canada and over 7000 unidentified remains. I checked right away if I could find our son Michael Bosma who has been missing since January 10, 2006 on the site but he is not listed.  This is obviously a work in progress but it is a great step in the right direction however we still desperately need to have a Missing Persons DNA Data Bank for the Many Missing People of Canada. Many people are surprised there is NO DNA Data Bank for the thousands of Canadians that have been missing for years.

When you have a missing loved one the worst part is the unknown. The grieving process is a lot longer because its hard to grieve without feeling guilty…like you are giving up on finding your loved one. Your life is changed forever and even though you do eventually get on with your life your missing loved one is always in the back of your mind. You still have bad days..Anniversarys, birthday and any special occasions there are many tears, both shed and unshed. You learn to cry on the inside and you learn to carry on but if your loved one is found and you can bring them home I think there would somehow be some peace. I don`t know because our son has been missing now for over 7 years. Many people will talk about closure but is there really closure when you have lost a loved one?

It breaks my heart when I see a missing person in the media or posted on Facebook because I know the nightmare the family is living with.  Thankfully most missing people are found within the first day they are listed as missing. As time goes on and the days turn into weeks, then months and years its hard to stay positive and you finally have to admit that your loved one may never come home.

Hopefully  this new RCMP website for the Missing People of Canada will solve some of the Missing Persons cases and give a family a little peace.

 

DNA DATA BANK PETITION http://www.gopetition.com/petition/41301/signatures.html

Related articles

• Canada’s missing persons cases featured on new website (cbc.ca)
• Hundreds have gone Missing from BC, Canada in 2012 – Many are still missing (wenswritings.wordpress.com)

Horrible Choices – When do you scale back the search of your Missing Loved One?

Emma Fillipoff, 26, has been missing since Nov. 28, 2012 from Victoria, BC.  Emma’s mother,  Shelley Fillipoff has been searching for her daughter ever since. It has been over five weeks  since Emma went missing and Shelley is at the cross-road of deciding to scale back the search. This is a very hard decision to make and everybody has to do what works for them. There is no right or wrong choice, just horrible choices.

When your loved one first goes missing you are running on adrenaline, surviving on limited sleep and lots of coffee. Handing out Missing Posters of your loved one is a horrifying  gut wrenching experience. It is just so wrong!

Social Media is a great way to spread the news of a Missing Person, which Shelley  has made excellent use of resulting in a  lot of awareness of Emma’s disappearance.

 

http://www.facebook.com/MissingPeopleBC?ref=hl#!/HelpFindEmmaFillipoff?fref=ts

Read more:

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Ontario+woman+faces+difficult+choice+about+whether+search+daughter/7768022/story.html

Michael Bosma, 25, Missing January 2006 from Kelowna, BC

The dreaded anniversary date of our son Michael James Bosma`s disappearance  is here again. It has been seven years since Mike went missing and there has been many changes in our lives but there is always an empty spot no matter what we are doing.  Mike had recently been released from the Kelowna psychiatric ward and was staying in a transition house operated by Interior Health. He went for a walk at 9 PM on January 9, 2006 and was to be back at 11 PM for medication. Mike never came back and we were contacted the next morning around 9 AM and advised Mike was missing.

We checked all the places we knew Mike liked to go but could not locate him. We were advised by Interior Health Mike had been reported missing to the RCMP but when we went to the RCMP station they had no record of his disappearance so we started a file. Somehow there ended up being two missing files on our son for a while. We contacted the media and put up posters all over town. Family and Friends took posters and hung them up all over the Okanagan Valley. It was and is surreal that our son is missing. Strange how something can feel fresh and old at the same time. Until you have someone you love go missing you have no idea of the heartache and torment that is behind the missing person cases you read about and see on TV.

We will wait for our son to come home till the end of our days.

http://footprintsattheriversedge.blogspot.ca/2011/01/011006-michael-bosma-25-kelowna-bc.html

Matthew HUSZAR, 25 Missing for a year from Vancouver, BC

December 15 it will be one year since Matthew went missing. It’s your worst nightmare when someone you love goes missing and it only becomes worse when you can’t find any trace of them. Matthew’s family and friends have hung up posters all over the Vancouver area, talked to dozens of reporters and pleaded with the public for any information regarding Matthew’s disappearance. There doesn’t seem to be any reasonable explanation for Matthew to have gone missing.

Matthew was last seen in Gastown after a Christmas celebration with his co-workers at Lamplighter Pub at 92 Water Street in Gastown. Matthew’s co-workers advised he was not intoxicated and was looking forward to spending time with his family in the upcoming days. There is no evidence that Matthew was a victim of crime or of suicide…he just seems to have vanished into the air.

Please if you know anything about Matthew’s disappearance or even if you have heard rumors, no matter how bizarre, please report it to the Vancouver City Police. If you want to remain anonymous Crime Stoppers is a great way to leave a tip.

Anniversary dates of your loved one’s disappearance are very hard to deal with. The days leading up to actual day are especially brutal too and my heart goes out to Matthew’s family and friends.

http://www.findmatthewhuszar.ca/

http://footprintsattheriversedge.blogspot.ca/2012/01/121611-matthew-huszar-25-vancouver-bc.html

It has been Seven Years since Rhody Lake, 80, went missing from the Sunshine Coast, BC – Family is Desperate for Answers

The anniversary date is very hard for the family and friends of a missing loved one. As the day draws nearer memories come flooding back as you relive the nightmare. The shock and horror of having your loved disappears never goes away but in order to survive you somehow learn to live with the pain but the anniversary date is very emotionally draining.

Rhody Lake went  Missing from Sunshine Coast, BC, November 27, 2005. Rhody is 5ft 3 in, 130lbs, and has grayish red hair. This November 27th marks the seven-year anniversary of Rhody’s disappearance. She was 80 years old at the time she went missing, this photo taken just one year before. Rhody was last seen that day (Grey Cup Sunday) walking along a road near Porpoise Bay Park, two miles from her home, about 3:30pm, an hour before dusk. Snow had fallen the night before, and the next day she was seen taking two short walks in her neighborhood before noon, and in the afternoon she took a longer route, to where she was last seen. Rhody walked everyday, was a strong and experienced walker and hiker of trails all her adult life, in many parts of the lower mainland and on the Sunshine Coast. An extensive search was held for five days and nights, by land, air and sea, as well as many searches organized by family throughout the following months and years, but no clues or evidence of what happened or her whereabouts have ever been found.

Apart from being a beloved family member to her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews, and a dear friend to many, she was also well-known as an accomplished writer, artist, teacher, activist and health advocate in the communities she has lived. She held newspaper columns in the 1950’s – 1970’s for West Vancouver’s “Lions Gate Times” and Vancouver’s “Province” and “Sun”. In the 1980’s she included painting, drawing and sculpture to her passions, producing pieces many people still enjoy today. In the early 1990’s she went back to writing and accepted a position as editor of the health magazine, “Alive”. She moved from Langley to the Sunshine coast in 1998 and continued with Alive until 2001. She retired at the age of 76 and spent her time writing articles, doing art, walking, hiking, and caring for the beautiful home and garden she had built on the Sunshine Coast.

Rhody’s disappearance, and wondering what happened to her that day, remains a haunting mystery and a shocking tragedy for her loved ones. Every year when Grey Cup day approaches these feelings are triggered even more so. Her family want to honor her at this anniversary time and hope that publicity like this can help to bring answers. For more information or anything you feel could help Rhody’s case, please contact Sunshine Coast RCMP at 604 885 2266.

Criminal Charges dropped against Tamara Chipman who has been Missing for Seven Years

Tamara Chipman, 22, went missing while hitch hiking from Prince George to Terrace BC September 2005. This is the highway known as “Highway of Tears“ Tamara is just one of over a dozen women who have gone missing over the past twenty years. When Tamara went missing there were some outstanding criminal charges against her. There were rumors that Tamara was in hiding to avoid the charges but people who knew her well said she would not do that to her family or friends.

On November 13, 2012 these charges were stayed against Tamara.Neil MacKenzie, communications counsel for the Criminal Justice Branch of the provincial government said  “Crown concluded that the charge assessment standard for proceeding is no longer met,” he said. ”There is no fixed schedule for case reviews to take place and there’s no specific amount of time that passes before prosecutors decide to stay charges,” he added. Although Tamara`s family and friends are glad the charges are now dismissed they would still like answers to her disappearance.

http://www.terracestandard.com/news/179818211.html

http://www.highwayoftears.ca/Missing%20Index/tamarachipman.htm